This is one of the number one questions that parents ask me during our one hour consultation. There are so many times in my role as a certified sleep consultant that I wish I could give my clients a clear cut and dry answer by being able to look into the future.
The answer is that after working with hundreds of babies, I can give clear averages based on trends I have observed. The exact trajectory though will be determined by a few key factors.
- Consistency, consistency and more consistency
- The sleep training method
- Your daytime routine: if the schedule is not aligned with your baby’s sleep needs, sleep
training will take longer. - Temperament of your baby
So what is the average?
The first three nights of sleep training are what I call my “wild card nights”. This is where I see the most variation from baby to baby. In the first three nights, your baby is learning a brand new skill from square one. They might have never fallen asleep independently before and the way that the learn the skill is by doing. The goal for all sleep training methods is that baby is able to put themselves to sleep completely independently from a fully awake state (drowsy but awake does not work). Therefore, the first three nights are where your baby practices this skill for the first time and becomes more confident each night. However, as we know, learning is not a linear process. Most skills are formed by taking two steps forward and one step backward.
After three nights, I see improvement for the average baby. It should be taking baby less amount of time to fall asleep for bedtime initially and they should be able to resettle themselves faster at night wakings. For most babies, there will still be some frustration at this time and night wakings will most likely still occur. However, some babies are already well on their way to sleeping through the night after the first three nights.
Usually after one week, most babies start showing significant progress. Night wakings start disappearing and if they come out of sleep cycles, they resettle quickly. Bedtime usually starts taking about 15 minutes or under. Early wakings can sometimes pop up at this point into sleep training as babies are consolidating their night. They wake up at around 5 a.m. and feel rested enough to think their night is complete. Sleep drive becomes very low at this this and it is the hardest time for a baby to resettle themselves. Most babies need at least 11 hours of sleep at night. This is where it is important to remain consistent by applying the sleep training method until an appropriate wake up time so that baby can learn to move into their last deep sleep cycle of the night to wake up feeling rested. I also suggest continuing to reevaluate your baby’s schedule as sleep needs change quickly when a baby starts getting more consolidated rest.
What about naps?
Generally speaking, naps take longer than nighttime training. This is due to the fact that sleep pressure is much lower in the daytime and a different part of the brain is responsible for naps. At nighttime, melatonin is helping your baby connect their sleep cycles. This is where lengthening naps for many babies can take the longest in the sleep training process. Usually after a week, baby should be able to put themselves quickly for naps but might still be working on connecting their sleep cycles. The most important thing for nap training is making sure that wake windows are optimal as this builds the necessary sleep pressure to settle quickly and connect sleep cycles. Naps usually take a full 2 weeks to become consistent.
How does the sleep training method influence sleep training progress?
For some babies, higher levels of parental presence can be stimulating during the sleep training process and therefore cause progress to be slower. However, usually there are clear indicators of this and one can always change the sleep training method. I find that methods with high levels of parental presence can be just as effective and efficient as methods with none such as Extinction if they are applied consistently. Sometimes there is a higher likelihood that a parent may provide an inconsistent response when they are using a method with higher presence. This can cause baby to be confused and rely on parental intervention to fall asleep, therefore leading to more protest and delayed progress.
Can I sleep train just for nights and keep the schedule flexible?
Half of sleep training is building enough sleep drive so that your baby is easily able to fall asleep at bedtime and connect their own sleep cycles during the night. Every baby and human being has natural waking points during the night as they come out of sleep cycles and move from deep to light stages of sleep. If your baby has had an optimal balance of wake time and day sleep going into the night, they will have a much easier time moving through these natural waking points and resettling themselves. If a baby is under tired or overtired (under tired being the bigger enemy), they may have more wakings and longer protests.
So why is consistency so important?
Sleep training is all about your baby learning a new skill, which is reinforced by the response of the parent. If a parent continues to help their baby to sleep, babies will always prefer this. Therefore, if a parent sometimes applies the sleep training method and sometimes assists their baby to sleep, baby will hold out for this assistance. This will lead to longer wakings and more protest during sleep training. My number one advice is to commit 100% to the sleep training process. This will actually lead to less protest and faster progress overall.
What if I have a particularly stubborn baby?
In my experience, babies with a stubborn temperament are just as capable of catching on to sleep training quickly and effectively. They just need a very clear approach as they will hold onto any reinforcement of an old habit. Aside from this, some babies catch on very quickly and some need extra time. This is due to the fact that like all skills, our babies pick up on some faster than others and have their own timelines.
In conclusion, every sleep training journey is unique as babies have their own individual circumstances that might have an influence on progress. However, I believe that every baby is capable of learning the skill of sleeping independently with the right supports in place!