The Main Reasons Why Sleep Training Might Not Be Working for Your Baby
If sleep training isn’t working, it can be incredibly frustrating, stressful and discouraging. I am of the belief that every baby is capable of learning the skill of sleeping independently. However, if you are having difficulty with sleep training and still experiencing long protests and frequent night wakings beyond the first 4-5 days, there is usually a reason! Overcoming your sleep training obstacles is possible with the right troubleshooting!
These are the main reasons why sleep training isn’t working:
- Inconsistency
- Schedule
- Using the wrong sleep training method for your baby
- Drowsiness before naps and bedtime
- Too many night feedings
Let’s unpack each of these reasons below.
Inconsistency
Inconsistency is by far the number one reason that sleep training is not working. When we sleep train, the baby learns the skill of falling independently through the reinforcement of the parent’s response. It is only through that continued reinforcement that baby begins to learn this skill and understands what the new habits/expectations around sleep are. Unfortunately, babies will always prefer the previous habits of being helped to sleep through whatever means, such as rocking or feeding. If that previous habit is reinforced in any way during sleep training, baby will learn to continue to protest or hold out for that response. Another example of inconsistency is also through the schedule. If every day has a different balance of wake time and sleep as well as bedtime/ wake up time, then sleep pressure is not optimal. A healthy circadian rhythm is crucial for sleep training effectively and efficiently.
Schedule
One of the most common things I say to my clients is “half of sleep training is the schedule”. If a baby’s daytime is not building sufficient sleep drive for the night, they will continue to have difficulty falling and staying asleep. I have a lot of clients come to me when they have already started sleep training and about 80% of the time, their schedule is not optimal. Usually, wake windows are too short and baby is getting too many naps in a day. This disrupts their ability to consolidate their night. As well, for naps, if a baby has not been awake long enough, they will protest going down for them. Under tired is the enemy of sleep training. That doesn’t mean we want them to be overtired. However, we want to err on the side of stretching wake windows instead of keeping them to short.
Using The Wrong Sleep Training Method For Your Baby
Not all sleep training methods work equally for all babies. This is where the temperament of the baby can really play a large role. Some toddlers really thrive off using a method with high parental presence due to separation anxiety being at a peak. Other babies or toddlers find too much parental presence very frustrating and stimulating when they aren’t met with the response that they are used to before sleep training. If you are using a gentle sleep training method with high parental presence and it doesn’t seem to be working, it might be worth considering a different method if it is actually leading to more protest overall. You might be using the wrong sleep training method for your baby.
Drowsiness
Drowsiness is the first stage and is a killer of sleep drive! So if your baby is getting drowsy on a feeding, in the car or stroller right before nap time or bedtime, their body has just registered that as rest. Then when they are put in their crib and they are expected to fall asleep independently, they don’t feel ready anymore for sleep! Avoid all drowsiness if you are experiencing long bedtime or nap protests.
Too Many Night Feedings
When a baby is beyond the age of needing night feedings or they are getting too many, this teaches their brain that they need a feeding to fall back asleep in the middle of the night when they come out of sleep cycles. All babies and human beings have wakings at night. During sleep training, we want baby to learn the skill of also falling back asleep in the middle of the night, beyond times where it is for actual hunger/nutrition. Having clear parameters around night feedings is important for overall sleep training success. For instance, sleep training a 9 month old is very different than sleep training a 5 month old when it comes to night feedings.
Overcoming sleep training obstacles IS possible with the right approach. It is important to look at sleep training as a holistic process instead of just applying a sleep training method. When we do this, we can set baby up for success and make the sleep training journey efficient and effective.